As recently as a week ago I found myself telling a prospective watch customer the same thing I’ve said for years that is “I don’t market from a perspective of fear.”
Years ago when my I was building steadily while never imagining I’d dip a toe into the sewer system that is real estate and unwittingly maintaining 12 coincidental home watch customers, byproducts of construction projects, I was becoming aware of the home watch niche and having researched beyond the two companies operating in the local area, an expansion of my search found time and time again overtones of the endless calamities the seasonal home owner will suffer if they did not engage a watch company.
Always taking a proactive approach to home watch based entirely on years of commercial and residential construction experience, I found myself fortunate enough to curtail possible issues in advance and the inherent ability to take note of and mitigate small cues before they had the opportunity to evolve into entirely avoidable mishaps.
The ability to curtail cues is neutered when I am off schedule. Since the dawn of COVID where the glorious off-season was discovered, an astonishing number of former September/October starts have been punted into November and December as those in a commutable distance find themselves making a run to the Cape on an odd weekend here and there deferring watch service to a date to be determined.
The trend here is two-fold. The first is the notable trend that is to defer service unless or until we realize that first hyperbolic weather report. The second and much older sentiment, birth of this document, is the amazing perspective that is what could possibly happen above freezing.
After years of professing to not market by fear, I’m going to take a stab at marketing through enlightenment.
Just yesterday I had one of my many beloved customers reach out to change bi-weekly service to weekly service as she had just arrived to find the heat and hot water out in addition to the garage door open. I would gently touch on the fact that I have more than twice the water break issues in the summer than I do in the off season and throughout the balance of the day, I started thinking of the issues I address annually while otherwise off schedule.
1. Water – If you haven’t read the water manifesto, I highly encourage it. If we’re going to consider the new off season to be November 1 – April 1, I can then tell you that the 2024-2025 “off season” campaign resulted in four water issues. From April 1 – last Monday, that number is now 10 and unfortunately in most of these cases the results were far worse than they should have been, wait for it… because the water wasn’t turned off at the main or the well presumably because there was no threat of freezing pipes. These avoidable issues include a bad fitting on a second floor washing machine, 4 water heaters, 3 well tanks and exterior fittings improperly drained before the previous “off season.”
2. Racoons – One of my favorite recollections. Several years ago I took care of a home beginning in January and wrapping up end of March. This bi-weekly service found me at the home 6 times in three months. Having returned home on May 1st, it wouldn’t be until May 5th when the homeowner, in residence the entire time, realized he had a racoon in his attic. This set off the most over the top scathing review of my service noting that I was all talk and the rhetoric devolved swiftly from there to the extent that I quite literally lol’d as the kids say. The premise was that I was asleep at the switch and that the squatter had gained access at some point prior to my last check in March in spite of it taking him 5 days of occupancy to discover the matter. Having confirmed with the adult son that it was just dad being dad, I sent him a check for the entirety of the seasonal service and to this day whenever I pass by, if he’s out in the yard scolding birds or berating a dog walker, he always gives me a big wave that never ceases to put a smile on my face as I shake my head.
3. Water and Racoons – I had a shiny new customer who had presumably just wrapped up her rental season and tasked me with breaking down her outdoor arraignment that was suitable for a backyard wedding reception. Within hours of doing so in the last week of August, I was asked to hold off as she had just picked up a new renter. Reassembling the setup on a Thursday, the cleaner rotated through and confirmed completion late Friday and the Saturday check-in went off without a hitch. On Sunday morning I received a call from the rental agency claiming the renter had reported water in the basement. Upon arrival I found an enthusiastic boy sitting on the top step of the basement stairs marveling over the water level just two treads
below. Taking note that in addition to the furnace, the washer and dryer were not only plugged in but below sea level, I asked mom to relocate the voyeur while I started ringing up my resources. I would digress here to note that had a late book not taken place, it would be 4 days before I was due back per our watch schedule. My electrician pulled the meter socket and I set up pumps to begin the purge. On Monday morning I circled back to check on the pumps and noticed a curious clump of chicken wire on the ground by the front door. With similar remnants around the chimney cap, it was clear we had a late check in. Opening the front door, I found a 30 lb racoon stretched out on the couch with all the concern of a dog greeting an owner at the end of the day. Unable to retreat back up the chimney, the bandit chewed on every window sill in an attempt to escape before deciding to take a break. I would digress here to note that had it not been for the water, it would be 4 days before I was due back per our watch schedule.
4. After what we estimate to be two weeks per the lawn guy’s routine, I was asked to stop by an off schedule house to check out a sizable limb that had found it’s way into the first floor primary bedroom. Beyond the stretch of oppressive heat battling with the AC set at 70, the breach tasked me with herding two birds and a squirrel back to their native outdoors before I began setting up temporary measures and certainly before ordering up a new window and lining up my hardwood floor vendor who would refinish the floors that had suffered water damage from two otherwise marginal rain events.
5. Last summer I was asked by an off-schedule customer to hang a lockbox for a renovation contractor. Another hot one, I hadn’t come to a complete stop before diagnosing why the insides of every window had water running down them. The 80 degree weather had been waging war with the goofy Nest [#MyLoathingOfTechnologyAndFalseSenseOfSecurity] that had somehow set itself to 45 resulting in a remarkable standing interior temperature of 57.
6. My neighbor is going to keep an eye on things. As I’ve heard from many over the years, a long time construction customer reached out during a cold snap and asked me to stop by because he had just gotten an obscene utility bills. Same as above yet in reverse, it would be a 35 degree outdoor temperature battling against not only a 72 degree interior but splits and resulting mist from virtually every run of baseboard heat. Of course with the, wait for it… water on, the system continuously called for more water to make up for what the base heat was discharging over and through carpeting and hardwood. Having shut off the pump and reported the news, I would meet the insurance adjuster the next morning and begin what would be the last notable renovation I would complete in house.
To be sure, avoidable calamities spike when I am standing down and that is not designed to compel anyone to pad their schedule as astounding as it is to know that most are entirely agreeable to maintain a cable bill, often two-fold of monthly watch service, based on convenience for a rare weekend getaway but hedge their bets on the home. Anyone leaning into winging it or hedging their bets would be well served by turning off the water before departing then hoping for the best on balance while always, always taking and claims from gadgetry with a sizable grain of salt.
